The Pastafarian

Pastafarian Aaron Williams

Motor vehicle workers in Dayton, New Jersey, called police on a man who insisted on wearing a pasta strainer on his head for his driver’s license photo.

Aaron Williams told motor vehicle workers the strainer was a religious head covering and he had a right to wear it.

Williams said he's a Pastafarian.

No, seriously.

Pastafarianism, or the Church of the Flying Spaghettic Monster, is a movement opposing teaching in schools of intelligent design and creationism. It's followers say they're dead serious but most bystanders say it's a satirical attack on more traditional religion.

Williams insists he's serious about the movement.

“I take it as seriously as anybody else when it comes to religious beliefs,” he said.

Niko Alm of Austria, Pastafarian

And this isn't the first time this has happened.

In Austria, self-described Pastafarian Niko Alm fought for three years for the right to wear a pasta strainer on his head in his driver's license photo.

He won his fight after officials performed a mental-health check.

Milking youth

I love this stuff.

As young adults we still have a lot of child in us living right near the surface. It's why we do stupid things when we're young. Some intentionally, some not.

And, like children we still play.

This is the latest craze among the college crowd in Britain. It's called "milking" for reasons that should be obvious.

Why we love radio call-in shows

You can't make this stuff up.

A woman named Donna called the Y94 Playhouse in North Dakota to complain about the "Deer Crossing" signs in her neighborhood.

She asked, "Why are we encouraging deer to cross the interstate?"

Listen for yourself.

A question that needs answering...

To pee or not to pee...

                

Did we really need to know that the most decorated Olympic athlete and greatest swimmer in the history of the world pees in the swimming pool? Really?

First it was Ryan Lochte’s mom telling the Today Show that Ryan goes out on one-night-stands. Ryan denied that but admitted peeing in the pool.

Then the breathless gaggle of reporters raced to Michael Phelps for comment. Does HE pee in the pool, too?

The bloody Wall Street Journal asked him that!

Of course, he said. Everybody does, he said.

I don’t know about you but there’s no suspense left in the games for me.

Thisaway and Thataway

People seem really wound up these days, don't they? If you ever worry that Americans have lost their sense of humor, relax. Take a road trip and read the signs.

For example, smack dab in the middle of Arkansas there is a tiny town called Yellville, where you'll find the intersection of Thisaway Rd. and Thataway Rd., just a quarter mile from Whichaway Rd. Wouldn't you love to hear somebody there giving directions to a lost family? Shades of Abbott and Costello.

Thataway and Thisaway isn't the only funny intersection you may come to. In an Arizona retirement community residents undoubtedly get a thousand laughs a day from living, as they do, at the corner of Stroke and Acoma Streets.

If you're depressed and feeling unloved in Albany, Georgia, you can hang out at the corner of Lonesome and Hardup.

Presidents are tempting fodder for street namers. Folks in Houston are true to their largely conservative perspective and their well-deserved reputation for being facetious by naming converging streets Clinton and Fidelity. In Ann Arbor, Michigan, people engaged in brief political commentary by creating the intersection of Nixon and Bluett.

You have to love Americans. We don't get as much credit as we deserve for having a national sense of humor. Just look at some of the street names scattered across our fruited plain:

There are several streets in the U.S. called Psycho Path.

In Story, Arkansas, the only way to get to Constipation Ridge is to drive up Farfrompoopen Road.



The scatalogical humor never ends. We're a nation of fourteen years old.

Folks in Central Pennsylvania can direct you to Cowshit Ln. if you will kindly refrain from stealing the street sign. It seems to happen a lot. In fact, that's why the merchants of Amador City, California, years ago began selling copies of their iconic Pig Turd Alley sign, hoping that it would stop thefts of the actual sign. That must have worked. I bought one.

Some street namers seem to be completely baffled and give up...



...while others just seem to lack interest.

 



 There are some streets you should steer clear of...

...and the famous road less traveled.



Wherever your adventures take you, keep smiling. We live in a very funny country.

© Copyright 2012 by Dave Williams, all rights reserved.

Craig's caveat

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