Let the games begin!

How great is this?

Tonight in London the 2012 Summer Olympics begin, officially known as the Games of the XXX Olympiad.

XXX is right.

It's a little known fact that four years ago in Beijing the organizers of the games provided the world's greatest athletes everything they needed to survive and flourish for two weeks: modern, comfortable housing, abundant and nutritious meals...

...And one hundred thousand condoms.

And guess what? They ran out of rubbers.

The math is pretty simple. There are approximately ten thousand athletes attending the games and I suspect you can whittle that number down a bit if you take into consideration the athletes who prefer to stick to a strict training regimen, those who can't find a date, and those who can but simply have no need of condoms. (Work that one out yourself.)

So, when you come right down to it some large percentage of ten thousand athletes -- for the sake of discussion let's call it eight thousand -- found themselves in need of of prophylactic protection more than thirteen times in not quite fourteen days, which makes perfect sense if you deduct a day for jet lag.

This year the Brits are determined to uphold the proud traditions of Her Majesty the Queen and the Royal Empire by surpassing the Chinese and stockpiling a 50% increase in the number of raincoats available at a moment's notice in the Olympic Village.

Hail, Britannia!

Let the games begin.


© 2012, Dave Williams, all rights reserved