Tuesday, August 7, 2012

To pee or not to pee...

Did we really need to know that the most decorated Olympic athlete and greatest swimmer in the history of the world pees in the swimming pool? Really?

First it was Ryan Lochte’s mom telling the Today Show that Ryan goes out on one-night-stands. Ryan denied that but admitted peeing in the pool.

Then the breathless gaggle of reporters raced to Michael Phelps for comment. Does HE pee in the pool, too?

The bloody Wall Street Journal asked him that!

Of course, he said. Everybody does, he said.

I don’t know about you but there’s no suspense left in the games for me.

Monday, August 6, 2012

Thisaway and Thataway

People seem really wound up these days, don't they? If you ever worry that Americans have lost their sense of humor, relax. Take a road trip and read the signs.

For example, smack dab in the middle of Arkansas there is a tiny town called Yellville, where you'll find the intersection of Thisaway Rd. and Thataway Rd., just a quarter mile from Whichaway Rd. Wouldn't you love to hear somebody there giving directions to a lost family? Shades of Abbott and Costello.

Thataway and Thisaway isn't the only funny intersection you may come to. In an Arizona retirement community residents undoubtedly get a thousand laughs a day from living, as they do, at the corner of Stroke and Acoma Streets.

If you're depressed and feeling unloved in Albany, Georgia, you can hang out at the corner of Lonesome and Hardup.

Presidents are tempting fodder for street namers. Folks in Houston are true to their largely conservative perspective and their well-deserved reputation for being facetious by naming converging streets Clinton and Fidelity. In Ann Arbor, Michigan, people engaged in brief political commentary by creating the intersection of Nixon and Bluett.

You have to love Americans. We don't get as much credit as we deserve for having a national sense of humor. Just look at some of the street names scattered across our fruited plain:

There are several streets in the U.S. called Psycho Path.

In Story, Arkansas, the only way to get to Constipation Ridge is to drive up Farfrompoopen Road.

The scatalogical humor never ends. We're a nation of fourteen years old.

Folks in Central Pennsylvania can direct you to Cowshit Ln. if you will kindly refrain from stealing the street sign. It seems to happen a lot. In fact, that's why the merchants of Amador City, California, years ago began selling copies of their iconic Pig Turd Alley sign, hoping that it would stop thefts of the actual sign. That must have worked. I bought one.

Some street namers seem to be completely baffled and give up...

...while others just seem to lack interest.


 There are some streets you should steer clear of...

...and the famous road less traveled.

Wherever your adventures take you, keep smiling. We live in a very funny country.

© Copyright 2012 by Dave Williams, all rights reserved.

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Craig's caveat

Craigslist is not only a source of great buys and opportunities to be ripped off by scam artists, it's also a great place to find some real knuckleheads! For your Thursday reading and sharing pleasure, a few real Craigslist ads: